What does red signify to you? Anger? Power? Love? Do you wear red often? Or do you avoid it?
I never really liked the color in my teenage years. I considered it to be too loud, too bright, too in the face. But when I saw other people wearing it I thought damn that looks good!! But, on me? No way! I secretly tried on red lipstick in my bathroom and then quickly wiped it off.
So when I was 19 I decided to buy my first red lipstick. I walked into the store, tried a bunch of shades and walked out. I looked like a clown! Like a girl trying too hard to look good. I decided to start wearing red clothing and then move to make up.
After sporting a basic t shirt, I moved to kurtas and finally a jacket. Initially it felt strange but with time I started enjoying the way the color makes you stand out. I enjoyed the feeling of confidence it gave me and how I felt more free spirited whenever I tried it on.
When I was 21 I walked into the store again. This time I was prepared to make the purchase. I tried on 10 different shades until my lips felt cracked. I finally settled on one that I thought I looked okay in. When I got home, I tried it again.I liked how I looked but I was not certain I could go out in public wearing such a bold color lipstick.
It remained in my vanity until I graduated the following year and that’s when I used it. Until that year arrived, I had gone through weight issues, skin issues, friend issues, etc and I had to work on every little thing that came my way that by the time college ended, I had changed.
I realized that all these years I was afraid of what others thought of my looks and my opinion of fashion that I hid behind being a plain Jane and kept my opinion to myself. I was afraid of losing friends that I did everything people wanted to see me doing. I felt nothing would look good on a fat girl so I hid behind comfort clothes and dull colors.
When I graduated, I had changed. I had become more confident and less oblivious to what people thought of my looks. I wore what I wanted and I ate what I felt like eating. When I put on that lipstick, I noticed it complemented my skin color perfectly. It didn’t look loud, gaudy or mis matched like I thought it did for all those years.
A lot of people came upto me and asked me what lipstick it was and that it really suited me. To me, it was more than make up. It was more than a color, it was the beginning of something new.
The color symbolizes different things to different people. To me, it symbolizes confidence. It reminds me of how I changed and how I should continue to change.